Welcome one and all to Tranantionalist University, where the very best is done to have each of our student-citizens become the best they can be for world happiness! I am glad you could all make it today for this first day of Orientation to Transnationalist U! Today we will start the basic sorting out process so as to better adjust your schedules for the upcoming academic year. Your Residence Advisors are here to make sure that each of you properly adjusts to the campus and the world as a whole, and as part of that each one of you will get a personalized treatment program designed specifically to you. Isn't that grand?
Any questions before we begin? No? Wonderful! Our orientation program is based on the highly successful University of Delaware program, and I am sure that it will work out wonderfully here. Now let us take a look at the outline for the orientation program and for that would everyone turn to page one of their booklet? This outlook is taken from John Fonte's review of Transnational Progressivism, and we will be utilizing it to help each of you out to understand your place in the New World Order. First up:
The ascribed group over the individual citizen. The key political unit is not the individual citizen, who forms voluntary associations and works with fellow citizens regardless of race, sex, or national origin, but the ascriptive group (racial, ethnic, or gender) into which one is born.Such wonderful insight! Each of you is predestined based on what you are, not what you want to become and for that we look to such identifiers as race, ethnicity and sexual orientation. So, to start with each of you has a race and the RA's will start putting chits in front of each of you. Each chit is to help describe how much help you need in adjusting to your racial conditions. Now I see that many of you are from the White Privileged Class and you will be needing the most help. Each of you has had an easy life based on your race and here at TU we make sure that every person becomes exactly equal to every other and then understand that their priveleges are garnered on the backs of others.
Remember Fonte's words on this:
A dichotomy of groups: Oppressor vs. victim groups, with immigrant groups designated as victims. Transnational ideologists have incorporated the essentially Hegelian Marxist "privileged vs. marginalized" dichotomy.So all of you that have come from oppressor groups, even unknowingly, must unlearn your values of privilege.
Ah, I see some querulous looks from many of you! If you are Asian you also get a number of chits because you come from an ethnic background of privilege that puts forward that you must work hard to succeed. We can't have that, here at TU, and so you get almost as many chits as the Whites do. Hispanic individuals also get a number of chits, although far fewer, for supportive family structures, which really does give you more societal flexibility and that comes at the expense of those without that. We hope that by the end of this year you will know that race is just an oppressor group identifier.
With those chits handed out would everyone from NAFTA areas, Europe, Russia, Israel, Japan, Australia, Ireland, Iceland, Scandinavia and India please raise your hands? Good! You are getting chits for coming from more privileged communities that have ability to advance, and so you will need equal treatment sessions so as to have you work hard and reversing those privileged mind sets.
Next are those from S.E. Asia, MesoAmerica, South America and the Middle East. Wonderful, you get chits coming from cultural backgrounds generally more affluent or able than the underprivileged areas of the world.
Ok, will those who consider themselves to be sexually 'straight' please raise their hands? Don't be shy, now! Ah, yes I can see that some of you are getting quite a pile of chits in front of you, but don't worry we are able to handle any sort of treatment program. Will all Bisexuals raise their hands, and please, you are amongst *friends*. Lovely! Remember that any dating goes strictly by the reference system that you will each get at the end of the orientation and must be strictly adhered to. Luckily the color-coded numerical value system will help you find those you can date at a glance! Of course your first year will only have you paired up with those unsuitable to you so as to have 'encounter sessions' so that you may learn of their sorrows with a suitable practitioner present to carefully explain things to you.
As you know we have limited seating available for most courses and we must ensure that all courses have proportionate attendance. This chit system will help work out exactly which courses you will have to attend to ensure harmony across TU and that all professions have an exactly equal and identical mix of individuals in them. We do follow Fonte's prescription exactly on this count as society must have equal representation in the exact same proportion of all backgrounds as they are in society as, currently, there is a poor mix and under representation of some groups in our society, especially in government:
Group proportionalism as the goal of "fairness." Transnational progressivism assumes that "victim" groups should be represented in all professions roughly proportionate to their percentage of the population. If not, there is a problem of "underrepresentation."Luckily we have taken all of your proposed majors and adjusted them to fit the current representation in society, so that everyone gets equal representation no matter what their skills are!
To help everyone out we have some basic orientation course requirements, which you will find in the packet in front of you. TU takes pride in presenting the Paul Krugman economics of disaster course as well as the Maureen Dowd literature course for first year students! In most other universities these are graduate level requirements, but here at TU only the the loftiest of ideals is held and we are sure that new students can easily take in the work of these masters of their art. Also on the first year is the Noam Chomsky political science for the uneducated course, which really should be taught in high school, but remains a part of no curriculum to date. We will have various reporters from AP, Reuters, New York Times, Washington Post and other luminary publications to teach basic math with imaginary number theory. We find that this should give any student a good concept of how to properly create ideas and present them no matter what the subject matter.
Some of you may wonder at the courses, but they are done to break the domination of specialists in those areas. Why should those with great study in math be the ones to dictate what math is? Reporters use math every day and have proven just as inventive as any mathematics scholar of the past in their use of number theory. This idea of dominance by actually having studied a subject is one we are looking to end at TU, so that anyone can talk on any subject and be an *expert*.
Also in the packet is your social awareness goal outline. Each of you has gotten a randomly printed societal ill that you will be expected to learn and become a socially conscious advocate for. The choices come from a mix of gender/race/species so that a chance is given even to those that are not humanoid to be given a fair shake by society. An example of this would be: Gay Black Whales. If you had that, then it would be your assignment to learn about that sub-group, its problems and then write advocacy letters to Congress and State Legislators every month to advocate societal adjustment to help that underprivileged group. We do this to follow the wisdom as seen by Fonte:
The values of all dominant institutions to be changed to reflect the perspectives of the victim groups. Transnational progressives insist that it is not enough to have proportional representation of minorities in major institutions if these institutions continue to reflect the worldview of the "dominant" culture. Instead, the distinct worldviews of ethnic, gender, and linguistic minorities must be represented within these institutions.Our current ideas of what society is and the multi-species participation in society is not well understood and each of you will help in breaking out mental bonds in developing the broadest possible view of a fair society.
Also in the packet is the school calendar and you will see various days and weeks marked out with special significance. When a day, week or month appears that has a celebration of a different culture, you will need to dress and act in full accordance with that culture. Each one has a small pamphlet that is waiting for you in your quarters, so that you may adjust your attire, attitude and attend various ceremonies that go with each culture. A special tribute to African Women's Awareness day will be having 10% of the female population go through the circumcision process so as to learn the primitive joys of that procedure. The next day is the New Guinean rights of passage for men which will feature ritual scarification across the groin and back, so that you can carry a grand remembrance of that culture with you the rest of your life!
This is done in accordance with Fonte's outlook for Transnational Progressivism:
The "demographic imperative." The demographic imperative tells us that major demographic changes are occurring in the U. S. as millions of new immigrants from non-Western cultures enter American life. The traditional paradigm based on the assimilation of immigrants into an existing American civic culture is obsolete and must be changed to a framework that promotes "diversity," defined as group proportionalism.Also note that there will be religious ceremonies for each of those periods that have mandatory attendance or there will be ritualized punishment aligned to that cultural outlook so as to understand the glorious diversity of societal views on punishment.
Of special note is Democracy Awareness Month, for special courses in fair democracy by group alignment. This special series of courses will feature numerous speakers from across the diverse cultures of America, like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Randy Cunningham, and special speakers from MECHa. Our democratic ideals need to be better aligned with group negotiation and no group need be left out of our diverse culture in America when it comes to power sharing.
The redefinition of democracy and "democratic ideals." Transnational progressives have been altering the definition of "democracy" from that of a system of majority rule among equal citizens to one of power sharing among ethnic groups composed of both citizens and non-citizens. James Banks, one of American education's leading textbook writers, noted in 1994 that "to create an authentic democratic Unum with moral authority and perceived legitimacy, the pluribus (diverse peoples) must negotiate and share power." Hence, American democracy is not authentic; real democracy will come when the different "peoples" that live within America "share power" as groups.Really this is our guiding light at TU and we are so proud of our pioneers at Delaware for pointing the right way for this! Part of this outreach program during Democracy Awareness Month will be a letter writing campaign to all members of Congress in this, so as to further strengthen our solidarity with all groups throughout the world. This will help us to remove the concept of a dominant culture in America and experience the grandness of groups living just as they want side-by-side with other groups and not have to worry about such things as immigration procedures. By our actions we hope to help deconstruct the dominant culture basis and put all cultures on an equal footing for proportionate representation by their culture type so that TRUE democracy will be seen first in America and then everywhere:
Deconstruction of national narratives and national symbols of democratic nation-states in the West. In October 2000, a UK government report denounced the concept of "Britishness" and declared that British history needed to be "revised, rethought, or jettisoned." In the U.S., the proposed "National History Standards," recommended altering the traditional historical narrative. Instead of emphasizing the story of European settlers, American civilization would be redefined as a multicultural "convergence" of three civilizations—Amerindian, West African, and European. In Israel, a "post-Zionist" intelligentsia has proposed that Israel consider itself multicultural and deconstruct its identity as a Jewish state. Even Israeli foreign minister Shimon Peres sounded the post-Zionist trumpet in his 1993 book , in which he deemphasized "sovereignty" and called for regional "elected central bodies," a type of Middle Eastern EU.To help us to identify what this is like, you will have notice that the entire campus is situated so that even graduate students live on-campus, so as to give you a better peer group identification basis. We like to think of this in the term that Hillary Clinton thought about it, and make our little spot on earth part of the Global Village by making a small Village right here where all live where they are assigned to better experience that global diversity.
As part of this new Village we have thought that it best to eliminate cultural designators so that each student can approach each other on a fair and non-dominant culture basis. With our deep research on the subject, we have given you each a badge and identification card for the Village that has a non-discriminatory number on it. When you are in the Village or even off campus, you will address everyone by their number, not their name, so that we can help in removing all individual distinctions of class, ethnic heritage and background in out appreciation of the global culture that we are all to be a part of. As you can see my badge is that of Number 2, and I fully believe that with effort the entire planet can become just like our Village here, as seen by Fonte:
Promotion of the concept of postnational citizenship. In an important academic paper, Rutgers Law Professor Linda Bosniak asks hopefully "Can advocates of postnational citizenship ultimately succeed in decoupling the concept of citizenship from the nation-state in prevailing political thought?"Our ability to be one humanity with slight differences in a power sharing arrangement will help to let everyone know where they stand in the world for all of their lives, so that they will have meaning and direction at all times! With this lovely Global Village will come the need for Global Government, which we practice here at TU with our Village Administration. Those with assigned jobs will be running it and those that are students are to live in the glorious life provided by the Village Administration.
Now, before each of you takes your chits to get your work schedules and class schedules, and then see your assigned rooms, are there any questions?
*The speaker looks around.*
Yes? You in the back, do you have a question?
'Yes, Ma'am, I do.'
Oh, my! What is the question?
'Who is Number One? Who runs this place?'
Ah, you are Number.... Six?
'I am not a number, I am a Free Man.'
And so the fight of the Individual to BE Individual continues to this day.