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No one ever said anything about speaking it well, mind you....
Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spikingwerld.
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6 comments:
AHHHHHH!! I absolutely LOVE that!!
It's why FISH should be spelled:
GHOTI.
Teenk about it.
BZ
Comn from Bflo alls I no are dem, dese, dose and the udder spellins! Damn folks dunno how to speaka da english anywares else... cludin dat Clemens cuy, ya no?
Jeez watsa matta wid all of youse?
Hey AJ, BTW, hope your Dad is still around and you can visit him for Father's Day, senor!
BZ
BZ - My thanks, but he passed on two decades back... that was a harsh time for all involved.
He lives in my memories and I honor him as I can, although I am sure my politics would displease him greatly by now. Still we had closeness in what we could do together and that was much, and without him I would not understand the manual trades and craft involved and not have my abiding love of science. And we always respected each other's views, even in our rare differences of outlook.
May you be well today, Mr. Z!
Thank you most kindly sir. I was sorry to read of his passing but clearly he passed a rather stunning amount of passion to you.
BZ
My pleasure, Mr. Z.
My father led a life of honor in his beliefs to the point of *never* taking a promotion. I may have disagreed with some of his politics, but the honesty and sincerity of his leading a life that he could live with showed much. Unlike most on the Left today, he tried to live his ideals and enjoy a good life and did both, in his own way.
And that transcends politics.
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