The Quest for DSL

Ah, the lovely time I haven't had!

Back when last we left our lonely wanderer, he had been tossed out into the digital wilderness by the vagaries of the company once known as MCI. There, lacking for digital sustenance, he contacted his previous and worth DSL provider, Speakeasy, which had to go to the Creatures of Covad to get a line put in place. Ah, but those nefarious beasts are slothful and unable to do telephone calls without the liberal use of cattleprods, and they used a simple excuse of the intrepid individual not being aligned with the Evil Empire of Verizon as an excuse to deny that they could do anything. Bereft, he contacted the savaged remnants of MCI that were being digested by that Evil Empire and it was a twitching carcas that gave up a number that appeared as if by magic.

Thus armed the intrepid defender Speakeasy went forth to recontact Covad and use the magical number as a cattle prod upon them. Their hide had stiffened, apparently, and grown immune to such and they continued to say the bereft wanderer was still not properly aligned. Thus the individual contacted the Evil Empire and switched service from the partially devoured MCI to the Evilness of Verizon.

The minion of Verizon, so very sweet and nice, did, indeed beguile him with many promises if he would just sign over more of his needs to Them. Yea and verily could he get television service from them as part of an agreement between the nether powers and themselves. Forsooth, they, too, could supply DSL to him and readily, while bemoaning that MCI customers were not switching quickly to the Evil Empire Verizon and that force would be applied in the future to make such people do the bidding of Verizon. So sweet that voice and such venom from the creature it represents!

The poor wanderer awaits some safekeeping from the arms of the Cisco/Linksys Federation which will, indeed, allow him, if all promises hold true, to less exhausting time reading material through the sequestered wireless source from a neighbor. And while said tendrils from Verizon have now replaced the grip of the woebegone MCI, the plans are to cut free totally as soon as the wanderer has healed from worldy ills and gained sustenance. Then the plans to finally rid himself of the stench of these Evil Creatures will be done, yea and forever more.

And so he waits, unsatisfied, until these grasping creatures of eras now past will finally die the deaths they so deserve.

Speak not of the loathesome, slime covered Digital Cable concept as it is put forth by a putrid creature known as Adelphia. May its christmas trees be stuck in the air, forever and anon. Those criminals do *not* get one penny more and have unreliable service that makes Verizon look *competent*.